One of my underlying communication challenges has been how to produce genuine meaning and connection, when my role models excel in speaking out of both sides of their mouths.

If you see recordings of people in interviews, the higher the stakes rise the more likely you are to see someone glance to the side as the other is speaking, and the speaker takes the chance to lick their lips.

Today I'm examining the reasons people lie, how this has seeped through our social dialogues, and how honesty (genuity) can be seen as a bridge of solidarity to people who are lower-confidence, or less secure, than the speaker.

I've been forgetting to pursue happiness; I suppose I could, if I remembered to. People seem to be used to doing so. Or. Do they? People seem to be used to pursuing.

Happiness seems to be something that eludes more, the more pursued such becomes. You can chase the ideal in your mind endlessly, and there shall keep appearing more to be chased.

I am learning to pursue calm, to borrow the phrase. Really, a peacable calm abhors pursuit. I am learning to embody calm.

Our day here in the Northern American landmass, middle ladditudes, is a celebracion of abuses.

A signed agreement, by men combined in purpose by miscomprehension of similar biologies, and enriched mainly by blood upon soil.

I decline; and only say so much as recognizing the source of our miseries, a deep sadness of a burdensome legacy, and scared realizacion of decisions in our momentous hold, and consequences of dis-spelling or mis-spelling, and of many abuses enabled by absence of conscience.

Here again, head spinning in a mire of slop; gleaned from the rash of a dizzying nocturn from one corner to another in the dim Baltimore hours.

Music, though I missed the show. Dinner, though I bungled the meal. Company, though she spared me no glance. Elegance, though my dress laid threadbare.

I seem to make no impression on people, or too many, such that the noise surrounds me as a chrysalis that I peer through.

My guarded zone, occasionally broken by piercing stabs of aggression, chiseled to seem cute, cut and dry from all angles besides the one I embody.

"I'm unused to being naked in a bar", I explained to the lady who I'd soon learn had my sister's name, easy enough to be pleased that I shared the couch beside her, and as anyone, concerned for my seeming mis-composure.

In the moments prior, I'd lost my seat on the first bench as a bearded jack-off leaned in for his "wild proposal", one which I had made no indication of agreeing to. Silence seems to be heard as acquiescence.

In the moments prior, I had explained to the first person to ask "are you okay" - "no, I don't need water. I'm meditating. They do call this trance music, you know."

Prior to the bar, I'd been on the curb - spinning the bo (pole) as I'd learned through many bruises, in parades and musical gatherings, and in Aikido dojos for years prior. I had seen a musician I recognized, who had seemed busy smoking, and guessing she headed into the bar, I headed back to my car for the purse; My skirt had no pockets for my card clip, and I find the purse a problem in the flow of the bo.

Prior to pulling the bo from my car, I had to park it at the hackerspace, in the alley, for enough charge to finish cooking dinner. I had a larger meal than normal, on batteries that carry less charge, now that they've gone through the mechanic's shop for a couple of unplanned and unchaperoned weeks.

Prior to parking the car, which is more of a large camper conversion, I'd been parked on the curb near the bars. I'd hoped to share the dinner with others around, though when the inverter begins beeping, and the cooktop surrenders inside of 30 seconds, I'd decided to surrender those plans also. Simpler near the hackerspace, an extension cord run under the door to the parking lot.

And I'd done this earlier in the day, at the hackerspace of course, prior to my shopping for groceries and skirts. I'd been charging the batteries as much as possible, as I showered and cleaned and organized the dishes - some aside for cleaning in the days ahead, some disposable ones on hand for dispensation.

Once I finally found the skirts I needed, and the food supplies I'd been ignoring on these recent cloudy days, as my fridge demanded hours off... I parked before I reached the bars, and the final location for Baltimore's Pride month, to dress up in my shibari harness.

Oh, she doesn't make me happy. No, she makes me groan and beg. She sees me as a lonesome dog all hunched up on her leg.

I'd sooner choose somebody else to lay beside, in bed. Our psycho-social mania is messing up my head.

She lures me upon loose damp ground, her spade digs around the edges. I drop inside a dim abyss in memories she dredges.

I hear she has some children now, tho I've not been where they're from. She asked me under cover, and I had no chance to come.

So big sis, I guess, or cousin dear, you really had me clenched; and I lie in bed each morning, seems you since became so drenched.

As I begin re-launching operand.online, many problems and old pains reappear. I had been ignoring my failed domain for months, because I've been engrossed in occupying a new nomadic residence, my camper has gone from Grand Rapids to Baltimore to Los Angeles, to Baltimore to Chicago to Grand Rapids, this year alone.

I've been finding conferences to go to, although they've been of less use than I assumed. The long hours on the road and hurried composure that I normally embody mean that I'm late to show up and a mess when I do. I'm learning that there are other more sensible methods of spending my days, and this domain is one superb manner of being in many places at once.

Beside my human concerns, I'm spending more energy absorbing the news of global chaos, and I'm sad as each day begins that my sleep has likely carried me through someone elses' tragedy. I'm aligning my business to ending these ongoing and expanding horrors.

Whereas before I used my essays to explore my psychology and relationships, now I am beginning to see how much I had been lacking any purpose. I had a chance to briefly meet and collaborate with 404 Media, I had chances to learn from peers at OpenGovHub, and I am coming to see how my passions are indeed aligned, both to the quirks of my unique education and to the compelling demands of the now.

I'm in Michigan again, after being engrossed in the proceedings of the 2026 Code for America Summit in Chicago. The main lesson? Where government meets technology, there is only room for CEOs or politicians to speak up. The old party, -on'line.

The corollary to this lesson seems to be, that there is no place to mention the foreign or domestic humanitarian implications of the current US federal policies. No mention of our national commerce in munitions, or aggression aimed at the ruling bodies of neighboring peoples. No dialogue to address policies, only to accomodate their implementation.

Legal research in the USA is fully dependent on two products; Lexis Nexis and WestLaw - these both use incredible fees to keep out small business and independent researchers, in essence producing a scarcity of the most crucial resource in any democracy: a basic comprehension of the legal rules of the game. Layers of academia and law have been designed to guard access to these resources, and in recent years we are all feeling the consequences - money alone buys access to the rulebook.

These companies build their program fully on public records, sourcing from the Library of Congress, GovInfo, the Code of Federal Regulations, and Harvard's more recent CaseLaw Access Project. These public records are the original framing of open-source; the public needs to access and learn from these same sources to either comply, or to change the rules that bind us.

See how simple web scrapers and advanced databases combine into an open-source replacement for the legal gridlock we're used to, and learn how to connect directly behind the scenes at Congress to the people publishing these records each day. This HOPE talk marks the release of a new public legal search engine - open source from the homelab hardware to the public records request.

Please bookmark ToS;DR. This is one of your main search engines this year.

Specifically, you are looking for rules in the theme of "data brokerage"; rules such as:

• Amazon's "Voice data is collected and shared with third-parties",
• Facebook's "Deleted content is not really deleted",
• Apple's "Your personal data may be disclosed to comply with government requests without notice to you",
• Reddit's "Tracking via third-party cookies for other purposes without your consent.",
• YouTube's "This service can view your browser history",
• Quora's "They store data on you even if you did not interact with the service",
• PayPal's "This service still tracks you even if you opted out from tracking"

These are only chosen from the homepage! You're responsible for searching the apps you use. Ignorance may be a popular excuse, but when apps sell your data, these are the buyers.

To begin, I use Brave.

Brave is more secure than normal; imagine Chrome with a bunch of the Google ripped out. This means any Google plugin runs in Brave.

Also, Firefox copied the plugins from Chrome, so you can probably find the same plugins in their web stores.

You may see plugins called "extensions"; that's a hairy issue.

Here are the plugins I use daily.

• uBlock Origin

  Blocks so many ads that some days I forget that most people still have ads. Also keeps me from clicking through on some clickbait.

• ToS;DR

  If you pin this to the menu bar, you'll see an A -> F letter grade for each domain. Click to read the main concerns before signing up, or flushing your cookies and running.

• Vimium (source)

  Move around and through pages using your keyboard alone. The mouse-to-keyboard loop is gradually breaking your mobility, so load this up and press ? on any page to see your new commands.

• Proton Pass (sign up!)

  You need a password manager that has encrypted sync, and your browser's built-in one is a cheap replica. As you use Proton Pass you'll be pleased to see the pop-ups for "passkeys", which enable one-click, no-pass logins.

• TabFS

  For the real hackers in the audience, because this plugin requires moving some config files around. When you're done though, you'll see a local file share that mirrors the open tabs in your browser. This plugin encouraged me to change from Firefox -> Brave, because independent plugin management is simpler in Chromium. Omar's one-page explanation is superb.

So as to keep my mind as clear as possible, here are my plans. again.

Pool

Pool is designed to be the hub of your local-web; keeping your primary relay online and secure by using MicroVMs and local networking to deploy and manage open-source web apps.

[POOL: ![POOL][POOL]][POOL]

Tony,

How generous, or perhaps unduly hopeful, of you to imply that the only thing holding up payment of my membership fees is a failure of billing receipt. On three separate occasions in the prior six weeks, my access to money has dropped to four dollars or less, ignoring the sizable balance due on banking credit, and monthly bills that upon any passable chance, are delayed to be paid on the final possible day.

As you properly recalled, I've been on the road for two weeks for a conference in Denver, and I did find a number of new colleagues there, one of whom is eager to pay for my help. Although I have been denied by payment processors before - PayPal accused me of laundering money in a recorded call during my first week of business - if I can secure a Stripe account I may be able this week to process my company's first income after being incorporated more than a year. As is, the first invoices I charge may hardly be enough to secure gasoline to reach the Chesapeake again. Describing this as a dry spell is equally both comical and real; I run an incredibly dry, spelling business.

Of course there is more to say concerning this predicament, and of course I am also eager for a drop of liquid money, especially because I am so unskilled in demanding any.

By one direction or another, the process shall reach a clean resolution; I am also behind on my biannual corporate filing, and unless I pay the late fee due to DC in a month, there shall no longer be a legal body for you to charge - I'd remain happy to read any emails you send, until the domain expires, and you have my number so long as you can reach me on the line.

Cheers,
Calliope Y

in Proton Mail,  ########@operand.online
in Signal,       ########.##
in secure,       202-###-####