Edge Case

Happy 2021!

"Keep kicking;"
...and so I did.

As I kicked, I pondered possible reasons such a phrase had been echoing in my head, resounding in such urgency. Surely is a unique experience, regaining consciousness. Usually is more along lines of, "where am I?"

I had more pressing considerations, like the hard ledge pressing in under my ribs, and a knee pressing sharply in my back. Ah yes, I recalled a more comprehensive phrase. "Keep kicking, or you could die."

And so began 2021.

"where" came back soon enough - only one such ledge in this house, and this one in the garage; an odd place to doze, by any measure; my measures usually being more liberal on such issues than normal.

A porcion of a second passed, and the real scene launched back to absorb me. A sheriff's deputy had his leg pressed into my back, and had chosen the most hazardous area of the building to immobilize me.

Simply pleased to sink back into my senses, I realize this deputy is busy applying handcuffs. Dang. Such an annoying sensacion. No longer abnormal, simply an annoyance; I could make do regardless.

And so I did; as he picked me up and hauled me to his car, a second officer grabbed alongside on my second arm. Easy enough to display exhaustion and sink back into their hold.. Squad car's back door opened, and as usual... I disagreed.

One leg on door frame, second leg goes up. Parkour pays off, I suppose. I manage to hinge my body around these cops' grip; my shoulders remain in place as my legs go up, and I gain a toehold on the upper frame of the squad car door, pushing back on the officers from above them. Once done, simple enough to kick the door closed - both officers curious enough in their confusion to afford me a break.

Regaining my humor, I explain; "I only ride passenger seat in those things."

I imagine my success can only be explained by coincidence of dispatch; I remain unsure the sense in sending sheriff's deputies on a house call. The specialized conditioning of normal police may have done more to scare me to submission; and I'm sure the daily "beat" of that brand of cop has less room for pause when a detainee seems to break the rules of conduct - and in this case, perhaps physics.

And so, an ambulance is called. These are pesky, sure, only do immensely less damage to one's reputation. All in all, a small holdup.